The Proposal

I knew Alex had a surprise for me today. He warned me about it last night. The clues were that it would arrive at work, would need to be opened at the end of the day, and would be small enough to carry home in my backpack. I had asked how he knew my work address, and he responded that he had his ways.

I waited patiently throughout the day for this surprise. My intuition told me the surprise was him visiting (we currently live five hours apart), but since we had plans closer to where he lives this weekend, it didn't make any sense for him to come up to see me today, two days prior.

Sometime in the middle of the day my phone rings. "Today has not gone as planned." A small amount of defeat was in his voice, but I didn't ask any questions. He wanted to know how long I was going to be at work since the surprise was going to be delivered late. I'd worked efficiently all day so that I could be prepared for the surprise whenever it showed up, so I'd nearly finished everything I wanted to get done for the day, but I promised to stay at work until 7 pm--there's always more work that can be done.

At this point in the story, Alex was standing on the side of the 152 with the California Highway Patrol because his car had broken down on his drive up to Stanford. The poor guy had to wait for a tow truck, arrange to have his timing belt fixed, and then rent a car before he could get back on the road and continue his elaborate proposal plans.

At maybe 5 or 5:30 pm I received an email from him (sent by our friend Jesse because Alex was still on the road!). It was full of puzzles to be opened at the end of the day, each labeled with the order in which they were to be opened. I couldn't wait, so I opened the first one right away. It was a hand-made crossword puzzle filled with clues that were relevant to us and our relationship. It was perfect. I was smiling and laughing as I filled out the clues. I got stuck on a few and recruited my co-workers to help me figuring out the answers. "It has five letters, it starts with a C and the fourth letter is O... Any thoughts?"

At one point one of them said, "Amy, do you think this relationship crossword puzzle is the beginning of a proposal?" And, I said, "No, definitely not. It's just Alex being Alex and procrastinating from his thesis."

Once it was finished, I opened up puzzle number two, which had me unscramble letters in the crossword puzzle to tell me what to do next. B-I-K-E-H-O-M-E.

It wasn't quite 7 pm yet, so I kept doing my work in lab just in case something really was still coming to lab. A few minutes before 7 pm though, I got a call from Alex. I thanked him for the wonderful puzzles, and he asked if I'd figured out the next clue. I said, "Yes, bike home." And, he spilled the surprise saying, "Hurry up. The cats and I are waiting for you at home!"

I finished up my work and biked home faster than I've probably ever biked home. Alex had started making a wonderful dinner of butternut squash ravioli. The ravioli were just ready to be filled and cooked, so together we added the wonderful filling to each pasta wrapper and then threw them into the already boiling water.

After dinner Alex said, "I have a gift for you." I wanted to know what the occasion was--why he was coming up to visit, cooking dinner, and bringing gifts. He responded that the gift was actually for the cats, and I fell for it because Alex does sometimes show up randomly with gifts for the cats.

I unwrapped the large, heavy box that he handed to me and found the iFeast. A "portable pet feeding/watering system for your MP3 player."

From the side of the box: "Pets and people alike agree: Nothing makes a meal go down better than a little mood music. Yet pets and people don't have the same taste in food. Why assume that they have the same taste in music? The iFeast enables your pet to enjoy some choice tunes while chowing down on some delicious kibble, leaving you free to enjoy your own music and meal combo."

I was so confused. I said to Alex, "I may be a crazy cat person, but really, really, please tell me you didn't spend money on this."

He just laughed and told me to open the box. I smiled to see that the inside flaps say, "GOTCHA!" and "Thankfully, there is no such product as the iFeast. Our nation's pets don't need any more pampering. If you were excited to receive a pet food bowl with a built-in MP3-player dock, then maybe you shouldn't continue opening this box. If you have gotten over your dismay at being fooled and would like more information about this comical box, check out the store at www.theonion.com." I recommend you check out the other items such as the USB-powered toaster or vacuum attachment for your shoes. Too funny.

Inside the box was a manila envelope that had been transformed into a magic viewfinder. When the crossword puzzle was correctly slipped inside, the magic viewfinder made the crossword puzzle spell out W-I-L-L-Y-O-U-M-A-R-R-Y-M-E. I looked up at Alex, and then back down at the crossword puzzle trying to make sure that I hadn't missed any letters that might make it spell out something different. Then I looked back up at Alex, and I think I must have asked him something silly about what he meant because I needed to hear it out loud.

He started to say some very nice things, but I didn't let him get through much before I'd leapt over into his lap to give him a giant hug. He then presented me with an engagement ring: a science-made blue diamond set in a white gold band. Somewhere in there I said, "Yes."

The whole thing was perfect--and perfectly us.